I will never again try to ever fix anything related to a car interior again. 

Kinja'd!!! "Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
02/04/2017 at 15:09 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!2 Kinja'd!!! 10

My Jag’s door handle linkage went bad. I had an aftermarket part, I took the door apart, I installed it, the door locks still didn’t work properly, so the door would open from the inside, but the alarm would go off. I ordered a second aftermarket part. It also didn’t work. While testing it and trying to figure out why there was too much slack and the actuator wasn’t triggering, the interior handle broke. Then I got stuck in my car and couldn’t open the door, because I had the door panel off and couldn’t roll down the window. Then I called a neighbor and asked to be rescued from my car.

On its own, I could replace the handle, because it literally just slots into the door, but then I’ll still have a linkage and actuator that refuse to work because I haven’t satisfied their desire for a virgin blood sacrifice

Now I have to go to my indy Jag mechanic, who is booked solid for two weeks, for my appointment to have the transmission fluid changed and explain that the door is broken and beg him to fix it. Judging from OEM part costs and the time I assume it will take to fix it, I’m going to ballpark the repairs at $600, or roughly 1/4 of the cars’ resale value. Which will be on top of the transmission fluid and oil changes, and means I’m going to push off replacing the rear suspension even longer.

Right now the only saving grace is that I put the original linkage back in, so I can be like “durr lock no work then handle broke I definitely not break try fix by self.”

I imagine that this is what being a parent feels like—investing so much time, energy, and money into something that consistently lets you down and disappoints you, but you like it too much to list it on Craigslist and try to recoup some of your losses.


DISCUSSION (10)


Kinja'd!!! 404 - User No Longer Available > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:13

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You should just replace it with a piece of rag or something. I mean Porsche charges extra for that.

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Kinja'd!!! PatBateman > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:13

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Some of us are not meant to wrench.


Kinja'd!!! Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:14

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What jag is this that has a $2400 resale value?


Kinja'd!!! Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:18

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Your car is too nice.


Kinja'd!!! Honeybunchesofgoats > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To
02/04/2017 at 15:23

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Realistically, I think I could get at least $3k-4k from a knowledgeable buyer, because I’ve gone and replaced absolutely every original weakness (tensioners, impellor, thermostat) with upgraded aftermarket parts not made of plastic, and I have documentation for everything and everyone selling one on local Craigslist is asking for $2000 for early models with blown transmissions (“it says transmission fault, but why does it drive? You’ll feel like James Bond in this beauty.”)


Kinja'd!!! Honeybunchesofgoats > PatBateman
02/04/2017 at 15:26

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I don’t know that it’s the wrenching so much as the fact that the actuator for the locks seems to exist outside of all laws of physics. I’ve spent hours tugging on that thing, and nothing gets it to trigger using the handle linkage. If it weren’t freezing out, I’d probably have just pulled out the entire lock assembly. At any rate, no amount of money saved it worth taking apart that door another time.


Kinja'd!!! someassemblyrequired > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:37

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Have you tried the Jag forums? They had cheap fixes usually with lots of photos for all my ridiculous X-Type issues. The XJ forums are more active.

Also there are links to download the official Jag service manual online for the pre-2005 cars. It is no Haynes manual, but might be helpful to try and see what might be causing the issue with the alarm.

ETA: link to service manual download instructions - http://www.jaguarforums.com/forum/xj-xj8-xjr-x308-27/jtis-pdf-format-x308-81022/


Kinja'd!!! My bird IS the word > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:38

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Have you done rust repairs? I’ll swap you and do your nice interior stuff if you will fix my rust :D


Kinja'd!!! Tazio, Count Fouroff > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/04/2017 at 15:42

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So another day in a Jag owner’s life...

(jk btw, same could be said for my Audis haha)


Kinja'd!!! jimz > PatBateman
02/04/2017 at 15:46

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It’s an old Jaguar. Finding new and amusing ways to break is part of its DNA.